Mental Battle, Part 2

“You can handle depression in much the same way you handle a tiger… if depression is creeping up and must be faced, learn something about the nature of the beast. You may escape without a mauling.” ~R.W. Shepherd

I absolutely love the above quote, because it offers hope to the field of mental health in the form of education. The more you know about a problem, the greater the ability to develop a plan to effectively confront it.

According to the CDC, 20% of the U.S. population is affected by mental illness.

Over the course of this month [October 2019], I attended several mental health workshops on my campus that were hosted by LU Serve. One of the questions asked: “Is mental health becoming more rampant as time goes on, or is it just that it’s becoming more known as people talk about it more freely?” The conclusion was both.

I by no means claim to be a mental health expert (yet;)), but I figured I’d jot down just a few things that can help us fight this epidemic. Let’s get to that…

#1 – Conversation:
Talk about it. Don’t be afraid to discuss mental health just as you would physical or spiritual health.
I can’t remember that a single person ever talked to me about mental health in my entire childhood. Is it a wonder I thought that I was completely alone?
I’ll always remember the day I was reading someone’s stories on Wattpad [any other Wattpad fans out there? heyyyyyyy :D] and was shaken to the core when I realized I could be the one writing that book. I was in my late teens by then, and it was the first time in my life that I realized That’s exactly what I had when I was a kid! And there’s other people like me. I’m not alone. It’s normal. I don’t have to keep this all to myself.

#2 – Ask so they can Tell policy:
As time passes, I cross paths with kids sometimes that I can tell are “different”. Not exactly smarter, maybe, but they definitely think differently than a normal child. I try to always remember how I felt, and treat them kindly. Maybe instead of just pushing them off to play with the other kids, talk to them. Ask questions. Get to know them. See if you can access their brain and get a glimpse of what’s going on inside. Only if you gain their trust, will they be able to talk.

#3 – Notice and encourage their strengths:
I guess this one goes in particular for a child with OCD. 🙂 As a kid I was always so happy when I could take pride in what I’d accomplished…. My sisters hated how I did housework, and I don’t blame them. 🙈 I always knew people considered me lazy and slow and hard to work with. I still to this day prefer not to wash dishes with someone because my OCD cries in pain at the way most people get them washed [how can you NOT sort everything into orderly categories before starting the actual washing process??!!]… But my Mom always loved when I swept the floors because yes, I’ll take longer than anyone else, but I’ll have swept all the corners. … I also always loved it that my Mom let me take over laundry, because that was one job my sisters never complained about me taking long with – they were just happy they didn’t have to fold the 101 towels every 3 days. Meanwhile I could take my time and listen to Odyssey or The Pond while making sure all the stacks lined up perfectly. It was a win-win situation. 😉

#4 – Love:
Most likely anyone struggling with mental health is afraid of not being accepted and loved for who they are if they show their true self. We’re afraid of being a burden, you know. So that’s why we suck it up and keep it all hidden inside and try to tough it out alone…
So just let them know it’s OK to be themselves, and that it’s OK if they’re not always OK.
I mentioned in Part 1 [ https://wp.me/pba9rL-1t ] that my greatest fear as a kid was always that I wasn’t good enough and that my parents wouldn’t love me, right? The ironic thing is that there is one constant throughout my life – never have I doubted my mother’s love for me. [strange how mental stuff works sometimes, huh?] Despite all the frustration I caused as a child, I always knew my Mom loved me.
I’m lucky, I know. There’s children out there whose moms don’t love them, and that always kills me. [If you’re one of them, please let me know, and I’ll willingly adopt you.]

#5 – Offer support:
It’s always the little things in life. 🙂 The best support you can offer a friend who struggles with mental health is simply being there.
Maybe as a listening ear for the frustrated mind.
Maybe just sitting silently next to them in a dark room with your backs against a wall as they try to get their anxiety under control.
Maybe taking initiative to bring them coffee and chocolate on their depressed days when they’re curled up under their blankets isolating themselves from the outside world.
Maybe it’s staying on the phone with them until 2 AM to distract them and keep them from self-harm.
Maybe it’s walking with them to a crisis center to ask for help when they’re suicidal.

#6 – Seek professional help:
Let’s break the stigma, shall we? It’s OK to visit a doctor for the sake of your brain. Shall we say that again? IT’S OK TO ASK FOR HELP FOR YOUR BRAIN.
Mental health counseling may be needed… I had a professor who could tell I wasn’t always OK and called me into his office to say “hey, I see you.” He’s the one who made me promise to visit Student Services and talk to a counselor. I went to therapy for the rest of the year, and my mental health is now better than it ever has been. I will forever be thankful he cared… Especially if you regularly struggle with depression, therapy can be such a help if simply for the fact you’ll have someone asking you periodically if you’re OK. After it’s proven there really are people who care and are committed to walking with you, you may find that depression doesn’t have the same power you always thought it did. Community is everything. ❤
Medication might be your best option… Did you know that sometimes your brain doesn’t release/accept/use the chemicals it should [I could get into the official scientific/biological details but then we’d be here a long time:)], which can cause all sorts of mental health problems that can be magically “cured” with a pill? [Basically just like taking Tylenol for a headache. 😀 For some people it works, for others it doesn’t.]
[DISCLAIMER: please do not ever self-medicate. Always seek an opinion from a licensed professional!]
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Little note just for the parents: I know there’s such a fear centered on professionals in the mental health world, and it’s something I don’t understand. If you’re willing to trust your child to the hands of a surgeon to perform a heart transplant, why wouldn’t you be willing to take your kid to a brain doctor? What’s wrong with admitting that just like you don’t understand the difference between arteries and veins, you are not equipped and educated to help your child with mental health problems that you know nothing about? Please, don’t be afraid of visiting a professional therapist if there’s a need.
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I think I’ll end with that, for now.
This is a topic I’m passionate about, so if you ever want to ask questions or share your experiences, I’d love to continue the conversation in the comments below or through an email/DM.
I treasure every one of your stories I get to hear.
Stay safe, and stay kind. ❤
~me~